Sarcasm is my middle name.... no really, it's the only way to state something uncomfortable...

in a humorous way. Really, I gave up screaming from the rooftops when I was a Christian. It doesn't matter (a line that repeats often in my vernacular I've observed), really doesn't matter if you're wrong or right, they just don't want to hear it. Seriously, if you want to know, well, you know where to "google." Besides, between the respiratory shit and the chemo, etc. knocking the shit out of me, it just ain't hardly worth it. Yes, there is a compassionate difference between suicide and euthanasia, like that woman in Oregon, who wants to wait for the brain cancer to cancel out your memories?

I get tired of hearing the lies repeated back at me like I just didn't get the manual, oh I got it, and I chose to reject it. Especially the part about you've gotta have a career and be a "success" in order to bolster the illusion that the system works. We make all kinds of excuses about progress and how hard life would be if it wasn't for.... all those things the bill will come due for. We've been living on borrowed (stolen) time. The clock was ticking before we were born, we, like our children, inherited and continued living on the debt, and the trickle-down wonder bread and margarine that barely keep us alive 12 ways...

Yeah... "we love our dead," got no use for the living, only good hostage is a live one. Fear is the commodity, fear is the stock in trade. Reality is nothing. Fear is Power. We all start to be afraid at an early age, little by little (sometimes A LOT), until it's bigger than we are and rules us and all we do. I made choices based on fear and anxiety relief rather than desire or drive or even a reason. So you chose a path did you? Was it a good idea or because of the fear you weren't "good enough" to be what you really wanted. Was that even an option?  Well, the money is okay....

I thought I dropped out at 17, I probably didn't drop far enough even though I nearly bit it later, by my own stupidity, I became snared by the system. There were some paths I didn't take, might have made a difference.... so 40 years later I'm still in the system, only now I am a statistic and we track the data. Maybe we'll learn something.... I keep hoping that these brilliant young minds out there will think of something to save them (never mind Us), I lived my life dying inside, lucky to still be alive now... my heart is rent for the dogs and the butterflies...