Apparently not quite. That is, I've been hanging on riding the bull, now I need to maintain my victory. It ain't even over when it's "over." The last 2 months have seen miracle after miracle, and though my recovery from the treatment has been plodding slow at times it is at least measurable. At least in my own mental assessment of measurement, that is: how far did I walk today, how fast and how was my breath rate and recovery for the walk home. Oh yes, you go there, rest, and go home. Two blocks both ways was about it for range. Shuffling along for speed, and don't make yourself pant, just mosey along and enjoy the journey.
Sometimes I forget and before I know I catch myself laboring and slow it way down. I used to be a pretty fast walker in my youth. It was the only means of getting anywhere, so you got a pace set and you went 5 miles or whatever to So&So's house. You hoped the person was home when you got there because we had no cell phones and very limited ways of communicating. Having a phone at home meant you had to be home to use the phone, and the length of the cord was the limit to your mobility while on the phone. Now we can walk while on the phone, or catch a bus while making a call, or shopping... These days a goodly number of my friends live more than 5 miles away. Walking 2 blocks to the market is a good time for me. Once a day and see how that goes. Baby steps, easy victories. Build your confidence, set your goals higher. Extend your reach without setting yourself up to fail.
I have said before that my primary occupation was feeding myself, that is, persuading myself to consume nutrients of some kind. My routine was structured around my morning sturgeon wrestling. Usually a workout consisting of 3-4 rounds over a roughly 4 hour period preceded by intestinal bloating and pains sometimes in the form of a sharp burn in the top of the stomach. (I referred once to these bouts on the toilet as "wrestling a sturgeon," and the phrase stuck). At times there was that reminder feeling, of that emotional edge of the empty pit feeling in your stomach, the words don't really convey the feeling of being trash clear to the core of your gut. Yeah, the ondanstron was great against the generally intense nausea, but nothing could really disguise the aftermath of the death in your inner being. A plague has struck that has wiped out the pestilence. The grim reaper sent as a healer. Indeed. Now the cleansing can be done, the fields tilled, the crops planted and the harvests brought in.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMQdXTzFxLM&feature=share&list=UUtne_KnvT-1sC9QgwH5xAwA
I realize that this link refers to CLL and not MCL still the 2 are in somewhat the same ballpark and I believe that he mentions mantle cell in there.
OK, now post this thing...
