...can't remember what I may have been
writing about, I've had so many thoughts arrive and depart like a
time lapse movie of a busy airport. Yet, try as I might it became
impossible to display them in text.
Trying to take stock at times, a breath
and I search my self for a clue as to why I sometimes feel as though
I went into the room to look for something and forgot what it was.
Only... the thing is my 'life' we are talking about here. Yeah, I
remember what I was doing last year and all that, it ain't like
amnesia ALL the time. There are still the obstacles and the mountains
I have always been climbing, so to speak, yet my perspective is
changed. There are many things I want to finish and many things I
want to start, hmmmm a thing or 2 I have started that I want to
continue.... so that's life really anyway when you get down to it,
all the doing or taking the time off from doing that we dream of
spending our earthly time and life-force on doing. We are so wanton,
so arrogant as to be flagrant and abusive of our time here and then
it is gone, game over, “too soon.” Sometimes life seems like a
fight....
Why am I so tired, I say again, don't I
get enough rest? “How's the fatigue this time,” they said. It
goes to 11, don't that mean it's louder? I quip. Some of them got
it...
The kind Drs. have said that I am
winning. Or in their lingo, I am in “CR” remission. It is too
small to be detectable by scan. True, everything was shrinking or
returning to normal after the 4th infusion. Speaking now a
month out from #6, I think we have it under control at least. Now for
the bi-monthly Retuximab hormone infusions called maintenance, and
sometime in the next 80 days a stem cell harvest. I have stated that
I will submit to having my healthy bone-marrow stem cells harvested
and frozen against the day that it might become necessary or prudent
to use them.
Meanwhile....
