To have to write a book, hahaha, about that... however, I digress. Yeah, another maintenance infusion in November, and managed to get to "Grandmother's House" for Thanksgiving with no firm idea of how I would get back except I was sure I could get on the train when the time came... I really just knew it had been too long since I had seen my younger brother (one of these days I'll get down to see my youngEST brother) so I figured I would go there for a brief stay... found myself back in Gondor near the Mountain Dam where one week became two, and saw my 59th Birthday celebrated there. Well, if I couldn't stay for Christmas.... a delightful time was had, spent with young and old and middle, passing on the lore and the legend and the hopes of the future. Gathered gifts of connection and left behind...
Memories of good time spent being around for: the game, breakfast, church, rehab clinic party, old stories (a few new ones), a book, a movie, taking the time to put up ALL the decorations. Dad loves to play the Christmas Elf so we look like Tinsel Town, North Pole! Haha, and mom's Antique Village and Angel Collection and the Nativities (yes plural) on the mantle... glad I got pictures. Really takes it out if ya to put that all up. For the kids after all, sure, you know.
No regrets.
I had lunches with old friends, and made some new. I got to bond with my parents in a way that I know is not common amongst the general population. Does it mean that every thing got resolved? In a way, yes. Once the main thing is overcome all else is swept away in the cleansing flow. I don't mean that all family mysteries are solved, but the personal wounds are healed, and ones personal mysteries are unsealed. A close friend once told me he understood more when he could hear all his mothers words translate as "I love you." That's an ideal of course, but I know everything my mother did for me was in her love for me. Even her mistakes, more in her apologies, mostly her forgiveness.
I know more about me now and why some of those small things meant SO much. Still, trading quality time for physical necessities is a tough choice, I do remember those hours of play: the "airplane" rides, the toy helicopter... flying kites, "well, I gotta run, making a living to keep a roof over..." He did too, and managed to be an outstanding dad for all that. So thanks, Dad, for making those tough choices, even when we bitched, and doing the best you could with what you had. All in a days work ma'am, just doing my duty sir, that's my dad.
Time to slow down and take each moment as the nugget of gold that it is. Quality of life, yep doc, I did say it was the chief thing.
